So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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