i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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