Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
