Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
