I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize