just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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