i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
