my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
