I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
