i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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