We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
