is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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