hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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