hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
