you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
