my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
