Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
