I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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