i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
