Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
