waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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