It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
