I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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