ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
