Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
