Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
