I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
