is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she looked like the before picture.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize