Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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