Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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