I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
