So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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