love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
