you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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