Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you will always have a special place in my vag
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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