I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
