it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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