Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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