the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
