do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
