he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
