My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
