what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
