What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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