put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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