So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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