that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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