Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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