This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
