i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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