She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize