So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize