Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
