Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
