He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
