I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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