I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
