I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
