she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize