The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
